Are You Tired of Being Mansplained To?

Are you tired of being mansplained to?

Yeah me too. 

As much as I want to include men in the conversation (I really do!), sometimes I get downright mad when they get on a soapbox and act like I don’t know something I, in fact, know all too well. It's patronizing and condescending, and I have little patience for it. 

I get so angry that I get triggered and I’m no longer effective in communicating what I need to say. 

Does this happen to you?

I’ve realized that in those moments...I’m emotionally on fire and truly unable to access the part of my brain that is open-minded, creative and good at problem-solving.

I feel like a “hysterical”, “neurotic” woman until I calm down and come back to earth. 

So what's a girl to do in this situation?

It’s a lot simpler to tell your partner to back-off for a minute than to tell your colleague or boss to shut up for a second, so what do you do when this happens at work?

First, get super curious about it. No judgement... 

Catch yourself feeling triggered (all the buttons being pushed and your stuff all lit up) and do whatever you can in the moment to feel safe.  

Second, calm your body...

Take a deep breath and feel your feet on the ground or your butt in the seat. 

Close your eyes and imagine your happy place (mine is lying in a field of grass with the sun on my face). 

Move your body. Like literally reposition yourself in your seat, move to a different spot in the room or take a break from the conversation to get some water or go for a walk. 

Third, watch the story that develops out of the emotion and don’t let it hijack you...

The story that he doesn’t respect you, he’s a chauvinistic pig and a bonafide egomaniac. 

The story that this situation is impossible and you are helpless to do anything about it. 

Next, ask yourself what you have control over…

For example, can you have an honest conversation with this person about their behavior? How can you respond in a way that’s in integrity for you? Do you need to get help in resolving this issue from someone that you trust?

Finally, act. Don’t sit back and assume you have no choice but to take it. You always have a choice. 

What would your most empowered self do in this moment? How would SHE act?

And if you choose wrong…

For example, you blow your top and lose it right then and there (which I've definitely done!), forgive yourself and do better next time. 

It’s hard out there right now for women (and men). The paradigms are shifting and everyone is trying to find their ground. Don’t be surprised if we get it wrong from time to time. Be willing to forgive yourself (and to forgive others) when a mistake is made. 

Want help standing your ground, living in integrity and speaking up for yourself?

I’m currently enrolling 20 women for The Superwoman Academy and would love for you to join. Check it out. It’s going to be fun, free and downright helpful. I promise. 

We’re going to talk about how to get safe, connected and clear so that you can find your integrity and live it on the daily through private coaching, live master classes, group support, bonus lessons customized to meet your specific needs and special surprises to help you along the way. 

Spots are still available and you have just 48 hours left to enroll. So don’t delay!